Life has been crazy, and if you’ve been following my blog, you know it’s not all sunshine and rainbows (read how it all began here). There’s this flood of emotions I can’t always acknowledge because, well, life doesn’t pause for breakdowns.
The thing is, when you suppress emotions, they don’t just vanish. Nope, they build up, waiting for that perfect moment to burst out – often at the least convenient times (hello student drop off line). So, what’s my solution? An emotional release, on my terms, and for me, music is the key.
In the midst of powering through when all I want is to hide in my closet, certain songs become my escape. You see, running on adrenaline, as my husband puts it, means emotions are on lockdown. But when the right music plays, it can open the flood gates.
I’ve crafted a playlist that helps me unclog those feelings, embrace the rawness, and then move on with my day. Music is a personal journey, but maybe you’ll find something on my list that speaks to you too. Because in the darkest days, a song can be your companion, helping you navigate the storm within.
- Moby- This Wild Darkness (Loaded Remix)
It was an ordinary day, Pandora playing, and then boom – Moby’s “This Wild Darkness (Loaded Remix)” comes on. It’s like the universe curated a song just for me.
The song’s repetition was a mantra during the toughest days of my husband’s illness (and still is). It feels like I’m begging the world, “In this darkness, please light my way.” The vocals? They hit you in the feels, conveying what words couldn’t.
And that album title, “Everything was beautiful and Nothing hurt” – it’s like Moby peeked into my soul. Simple yet profound, it summed up the whirlwind of emotions. In those beats, I found solace and strength, a light in life’s wild darkness. And I may have shed a few tears too.
2. Sia- Unstoppable
Ah, Sia’s “Unstoppable” – the anthem for those days when retreating to bed seems more appealing than facing the world. Some days are just tough, you know? The struggle of being a parent, caretaker, wife – it’s like juggling roles in constant uncertainty and, many days, I question if I have the strength.
But then, there’s this moment of putting on my “armor,” and Sia’s lyrics resonate so deeply. “Break down, only alone I will cry out loud” – it’s like she knows the struggle of hiding those vulnerabilities. The lyrics speak to that inner battle, the fear of showing feelings, yet the realization that it’s the key to growing connections.
“Unstoppable” becomes a reminder that, despite the emotions, I can put on my armor and face whatever comes my way. It’s a powerful soundtrack to the strength we find within ourselves on the hardest days.
3. Duran Duran- Ordinary World
Ah, Duran Duran’s “Ordinary World” – a musical guide to navigating the changes life throws at us. It’s like the soundtrack to finding a new normal when everything feels different. Life’s shifted, and now I’m on a quest to discover my own “ordinary.”
“Where is the life that I recognize? (Gone Away)” – those lyrics hit hard. It’s like a poetic expression of the crazy changes life brings, making you question what once was. But here’s the beauty – “But I won’t cry for yesterday; there’s an ordinary world, somehow I have to find.” It’s a reminder not to dwell on the past but to focus on the journey ahead.
“As I try to make my way to the ordinary world, I will learn to survive” – these lines are my anthem. Navigating this new reality, I’m learning to survive, to adapt, to embrace the ordinary that lies ahead. “Ordinary World” serves as a gentle nudge to stay present, to find beauty in the now, and to realize that survival is not just about enduring but thriving in this new ordinary.
4. Band of Horses- The Funeral
Band of Horses’ “The Funeral” – a song that hits you right in the feels. It has always been powerful, but now, with life’s challenges, it’s downright heart-wrenching. Picture this: my husband, in healthier times, moved by this song at a live performance before life threw us a curveball. A vision I can’t get this out of my head.
The lyrics? They’re like an emotional Rorschach test – facing fears, the fragile dance of life, staring mortality in the face. That’s the cool thing about music – you get to interpret it your way. In every note, there’s a universal story, a piece of life’s unpredictability. “The Funeral” becomes a soundtrack to those moments when life gets real and music becomes the voice for the things we can’t put into words.
5. Coldplay- Fix You
Coldplay’s “Fix You” – a powerhouse of emotions for me. Those lyrics, “Tears stream down your face when you lose something you cannot replace” – it’s like they penned the soundtrack to my life. Yes, for me it’s about health, about my husband at his lowest, and our shared emotional pain.
This song captures my quest for answers, my dedication to finding a solution. Google searches, chatgpt conversations, message boards, letters to doctors – you name it, I’ve tried it and will keep trying. Hell, I’ve even debated going to medical school. The lyrics resonate with my determination to fix what’s broken, to bring light into the darkness of uncertainty.
“I will try to fix you” – those words are etched in my heart. Listening to this song is a journey – I can’t get through it without shedding tears. And you know where it hits hardest? On the treadmill. It’s like a surge of energy, revitalizing my motivation to keep searching, keep fighting, and to channel that emotional intensity into something tangible. “Fix You” is not just a song; it’s a mantra for resilience, a reminder that even in the face of the unknown, love and determination can be the driving force to fix what’s broken.
Also, if you ever get a chance to see Coldplay live, do it! You won’t regret it.
6. Lord Huron- The Night We Met
Lord Huron’s “The Night We Met” – a melody that transports you to the memories of when it all began. Back when he was healthy, and the word “sickness” was not in our vocabulary. Ah, the innocence of not anticipating the struggles that lay ahead. The before and after – it’s a story we all find ourselves living.
“When the night was full of terrors and your eyes were filled with tears” – those lyrics echo the emotional rollercoaster we’ve ridden. The unexpected twists and turns in this sickness-filled world, things we never imagined. Yet, in the midst of it all, there’s an oddly comforting realization – meeting him was one of the best things that ever happened to me and I would do it all over again. In sickness and in health, right?
The journey from then to now might not be what we signed up for, but it’s ours. Every tear, every moment of awfulness, they’ve shaped us. And despite the challenges, there’s a commitment to ride along, to face the unknown together. “The Night We Met” becomes an ode to the resilience of love, a reminder that even in the most unexpected turns, there’s a beauty in the shared journey.
7. Two Feet- Fire
Two Feet’s “Fire” – a musical painkiller, a refuge from the day-to-day struggles. “Darling, I feel no pain,” “Falling, I have no fear” – the chorus is like a portal to another world, where pain can’t reach. Close your eyes in a dark room with your AirPods, and it envelops you, creating a space where the day’s challenges feel distant.
The chorus becomes a cathartic release, almost like the pain leaving your body, leaving you in a state of numbness. It’s that emotional escape we all crave at times. There’s a certain magic to it – a musical journey that provides solace, especially when you’re drained from a hard cry.
“Fire” is more than just a song; it’s a remedy for those moments when you need to disconnect, when the weight of the world feels too much. It’s a musical panacea, a way to find respite in the midst of life’s emotional storms.
And finally…
8. Odesza- A Moment Apart
Odesza’s “A Moment Apart” – a song that demands to be played loud. There are times when I just want to run away, feel the anxiety building, questioning if I can handle it all. This song becomes my companion in those moments, a running soundtrack for contemplation and exploration in my emotional world.
Play it loud, and it feels otherworldly – a perspective-shifting experience. The build in the middle of the song becomes a metaphor for growth, a reminder that even in the midst of chaos, I’m getting stronger. It’s a journey from running away to running forward, a realization that I’ve got this.
In the rhythms of “A Moment Apart,” there’s a therapeutic energy. It’s not just a song; it’s a mantra for those times when the weight feels too much. Running with it, the music becomes a catalyst for resilience, a soundtrack to the realization that strength emerges from the very places we thought we couldn’t handle.
During life’s highs and lows, music serves as the thread that weaves our stories together. From Moby’s powerful repetitions that became my anthem during challenging times to Coldplay’s “Fix You,” echoing my endless search for answers, each song is a chapter in the soundtrack of resilience. Band of Horses’ emotional journey in “The Funeral” mirrors the fragility of life, while Lord Huron’s “The Night We Met” transports us to the innocence of beginnings. Odesza’s “A Moment Apart” becomes a sonic refuge, and Two Feet’s “Fire” a therapeutic escape. In the ordinary and extraordinary, music offers solace, strength, and an emotional release.
Share the magic of your go-to songs with me! Drop a comment below and let’s create a musical exchange. I’m always on the lookout for next addition to my life’s soundtrack, so your suggestions might just be the next addition to my playlist.
Leave a Reply